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I Feel Stuck in my Anger - How to Deal with Difficult Emotions

Aktualisiert: 13. Nov. 2023

strategies to get rid of anger that feels stuck
feeling stuck in anger

Most of us have one or two emotions that seem to be the default reaction to many situations, the same feeling gets triggered again and again, leaving us feeling stuck in this emotion.

Anger or irritation can be such an emotional reaction that happens a lot but actually doesn't feel very authentic, in a deep, solid way.

YES, MAN, I AM MAD AT SOMEONE - the person in the call centre, the other driver, my partner - but expressing my anger doesn't really help. I keep staying in this irritated state, waiting for the next trigger.

There is more to my feelings than that somehow superficial anger. It can almost feel as if the anger is all that can make it all the way up from my stomach, my chest, my throat. But there is more down there, feelings that are more complicated, difficult, painful to acknowledge than anger. I might have learnt that anger is easier to express, or even more acceptable than the more vulnerable feelings I buried deep in my body.

The above is a good example of the way EFT Emotion-Focused Therapy would look at that blocking anger and irritability so many clients feel. Traditional, behavioral and/or cognitive anger-management strategies usually don't help in the long run, they often only increae the fear, frustration and shame around outbursts. EFT works on the roots of that anger: the more vulnerable, silent feelings, that have been bottled up, ignored, invalidated.

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